haix

hmm.
lamer tak blog.
well, where shall i start?
*Him & me.

luv u loads honey. thanx 4 de file and trip 2 sentosa. Wee!

it has been a yr oredi. wow. time sure pass fast. pejam celik, it's our one yr anniversary. my longest ever actually. hah. hmm. n moz challenging one too in fact. never had i faced wif some much turmoil yet so much traquil at times too. how complicated can it be. sometimes, i simply dont get myself. wad do i wan and need? i qn myself all de times abt de decisions i make, abt my ownself too. at times, it gets 2 a pt dat i dont noe hu i am. its hard. im confused.

n so, 4 me, he is my beacon of hope, my ray of happiness. i try so hard 2 make him happy dat im sacrificing my own happiness. i noe he cant be dere 4 me all de time. i realise dat. but sometimes, i get so agitated n persistent on wishing he was dere. i guess. i shud take a breather n enjoy my own life. yar? playing n winning at de arcade was fun! lol. im gg out wif amal 2 parkway soon. yeay. i need a life man.


yesterdae was my skol's open hse. i cud feel de energy in de skol. 4 once dere was loud music blasting ard de skol. can u believe it. unfortunately, de turn out was kind of disappointing n i guess dat dampens everyone's spirit. how sad.

skol sux! i wonder how many times ive said dat here. millions i bet. but seriously, jc life so far has been one of de darkest period 4 me. i juz cant wait 2 get out of skol n stop studying lyk one mad woman. but de irony is dat, i dont study at all when im suppose 2. i guess im simply stressed out im way behind schedule. i can atually see myself flunking everything 4 common test. damn. nw i cant say im not doing well coz i haf 3 subjects left. well, it has beenmy fault all dis while. lazybum. now i understand why suicide rate among jc students is quite high. not suprising. de option of ending all misery is tempting and attractive. but heck.. lemme enjoy life b4 saying gdbye 2 de world. god, pls let me live tru dis dark period of my life. its hard n i cant help breaking down all de times. im not strong enuf.. ='(

haix..i pray 4 my own sanity and self 2 be back 2 normal again. i miss me..